In a second
The clocks of our hearts
Can tick, tick
Stop
The mechanisms of us
All can rust
Sputter
Die
With each gear
We all turn
Veer
Spin
Were held into place
By parts essential
Dear
Rare
For a time
We have loved
Hated
Envied
Yet all the time
We are headed rapidly
Swiftly
Hastily
To our junkyards
Where we crumble
Disassemble
Destruct
Now let us turn
From our bars
Chambers
Cells
And break free
So we may live
Pursue
and Dream
Break our chains
That make us machines
Who wait
To break
23.11.11
26.9.11
A Couple of Ecuador Snaps.
The following were taken by my friend Liz, in Ibarra Ecuador and Punguyaco
23.9.11
Through the sea of souls...
I walked right into a sea of souls....
Never can I look at a person the same again. I can't look at someone without knowing their soul might perish if they haven't heard the gospel. I don't understand how people can go on living without him....and continue to live in sin.
I saw all those faces around me. Each face I wanted to look into and tell them many things.
I felt I was trudging through molasses, having the knowledge of each one of them being a sinner in desperate need of a savior...
I want to just cry out to those people. I wish I could drag them in, even if they were kicking and screaming. I wish I could wrap my arms around them and just have the love I receive from God to travel to their hearts....
And I wonder why I was put into these times...where sin is so prevalent, people sin in the open without shame. I wonder why I wasn't born in earlier times...
But I know why....
Opportunity.
Never can I look at a person the same again. I can't look at someone without knowing their soul might perish if they haven't heard the gospel. I don't understand how people can go on living without him....and continue to live in sin.
I saw all those faces around me. Each face I wanted to look into and tell them many things.
I felt I was trudging through molasses, having the knowledge of each one of them being a sinner in desperate need of a savior...
I want to just cry out to those people. I wish I could drag them in, even if they were kicking and screaming. I wish I could wrap my arms around them and just have the love I receive from God to travel to their hearts....
And I wonder why I was put into these times...where sin is so prevalent, people sin in the open without shame. I wonder why I wasn't born in earlier times...
But I know why....
Opportunity.
17.9.11
Himself
by A. B. Simpson
Once it was the blessing, Now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, Now it is His Word.
Once His gifts I wanted, Now the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, Now Himself alone.
Once 'twas painful trying, Now 'tis perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, Now the uttermost.
Once 'twas ceaseless holding, Now He holds me fast;
Once 'twas constant drifting, Now my anchor's cast.
Once 'twas busy planning, Now 'tis trustful prayer;
Once 'twas anxious caring, Now He has the care.
Once 'twas what I wanted, Now what Jesus says;
Once 'twas constant asking, Now 'tis ceaseless praise.
Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, Now He uses me.
Once the power I wanted, Now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, Now for Him alone.
Once I hoped in Jesus, Now I know He's mine;
Once my lamps were dying, Now they brightly shine.
Once for death I waited, Now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored, Safe within the vail.
Dear Father...I am completely depending on you now. I need you to save me, to heal me. I know how you can work through those who have nothing, and that's what I'm feeling now. I feel I have close to nothing, and I know only you can satisfy my longings. I'm trusting in you for this, and ask that you will reach your arms out to me and hold me...comfort me. Help me to be able to rejoice in you the way this writer has, and that my joy can be restored in you. I know I'm not deserving of this...I know I've upset you time and time again and I'm sorry. Please save me from myself....please bring me to you. I despise this world more each day, and eagerly await to see you. Bring that day sooner to me, Lord....
15.9.11
"Toiling Under the Sun"
Yesterday, I went to get my car registered, and pay the property tax and sales tax on it. I went into this incredibly monotonous and boring place, sat and waited till my number was called. I noticed one of the woman actually called out the number of the next person, while the other just pushed a button and waited till someone saw their number shine in bold red digital numbers up above the counters.
My dad and I got the woman who didn't call out people's numbers, and I discovered when we met her at the counter that she could barely even make a sound with her vocal chords. She was probably about eighty years old, working in a place like this.
My heart sank...
As a little girl, did it ever cross her mind that at the age of eighty, she would be subjected to sitting at the other side of a counter, in a place like that, taking care of the registration of vehicles all day?
I just can't wrap my mind around these sort of things...
Why anyone would want to live in a manner such as this?
That woman is going to go to her grave maybe really soon, and this is how she is to living her last years?
As a citizen of the United States, I recognize how blessed I am to have been born here. I realize that God put me here and opened up many opportunities for me with just being placed here...and I realize because of that, I am enabled to help others not only around me, but other countries as well.
We have been blessed so that we can bless others.
Why don't people strive for more here in the US?
Were, "Proud to be American", but for us being prideful of that, we have not made much use of the privileges we have
I generalize this claim probably because of the place I work. I was gone for ten weeks this summer, and I come back to my same workplace and see most of the same people, still living out their same routines...mostly older people. They get the same lottery tickets, the same cigarettes, they come in the same number of times during the week, and I could go on.
When I think back to the life I lived in Ecuador, how each day was different, each week I was probably in a different part of Ecuador experiencing different things and meeting different people....all the while those people who come to my work were still doing their same routines the entire time I was gone. That's just amazing to me....
" Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind. then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me." Ecclesiastes 2:18
In the end, with all the work we do, we are just going to leave it to the next person who's going to take our place...and the only work on earth that will ever last will be the work we've done for God's kingdom.
My dad and I got the woman who didn't call out people's numbers, and I discovered when we met her at the counter that she could barely even make a sound with her vocal chords. She was probably about eighty years old, working in a place like this.
My heart sank...
As a little girl, did it ever cross her mind that at the age of eighty, she would be subjected to sitting at the other side of a counter, in a place like that, taking care of the registration of vehicles all day?
I just can't wrap my mind around these sort of things...
Why anyone would want to live in a manner such as this?
That woman is going to go to her grave maybe really soon, and this is how she is to living her last years?
As a citizen of the United States, I recognize how blessed I am to have been born here. I realize that God put me here and opened up many opportunities for me with just being placed here...and I realize because of that, I am enabled to help others not only around me, but other countries as well.
We have been blessed so that we can bless others.
Why don't people strive for more here in the US?
Were, "Proud to be American", but for us being prideful of that, we have not made much use of the privileges we have
I generalize this claim probably because of the place I work. I was gone for ten weeks this summer, and I come back to my same workplace and see most of the same people, still living out their same routines...mostly older people. They get the same lottery tickets, the same cigarettes, they come in the same number of times during the week, and I could go on.
When I think back to the life I lived in Ecuador, how each day was different, each week I was probably in a different part of Ecuador experiencing different things and meeting different people....all the while those people who come to my work were still doing their same routines the entire time I was gone. That's just amazing to me....
" Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind. then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me." Ecclesiastes 2:18
In the end, with all the work we do, we are just going to leave it to the next person who's going to take our place...and the only work on earth that will ever last will be the work we've done for God's kingdom.
9.9.11
A Modern David
It still brings me both much sorrow and joy to think about you
I spent your last days with you. I watched you as you praised your Savior with such joy, as you sang to Him with your beautiful voice. You played with His children. You played as David in the story of David and Goliath. (The best suited character for who you are.)
I saw you, the minute God took you home to be with Him.
Now your beautiful soul is where it belongs
And you've received your riches in heaven
And even here on earth, the seeds you've planted won't be left un-watered.
You've blessed us with your presence
And I'll never be the same from the impression that's been made on my life from you.
This isn't goodbye
It's a "see you soon" my brother
Until we reunite in heaven
Since you lived your life for a testimony, and not a tombstone
I spent your last days with you. I watched you as you praised your Savior with such joy, as you sang to Him with your beautiful voice. You played with His children. You played as David in the story of David and Goliath. (The best suited character for who you are.)
I saw you, the minute God took you home to be with Him.
Now your beautiful soul is where it belongs
And you've received your riches in heaven
And even here on earth, the seeds you've planted won't be left un-watered.
You've blessed us with your presence
And I'll never be the same from the impression that's been made on my life from you.
This isn't goodbye
It's a "see you soon" my brother
Until we reunite in heaven
Since you lived your life for a testimony, and not a tombstone
7.9.11
John 13:5-11
"...He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, "Lord, are You washing my feet?" Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this." Peter said to Him, "You shall never wash my feet!" Jesus answered him, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me." Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!" Jesus said to him, "He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you."
This passage really stuck out to me because of what boldness Peter showed (yet again) whenever Jesus went to wash his feet. Every time you read a passage where Peter says his ignorant things and makes his bold assertions, you just want to say, "Peter, shut up!"
But as with all situations that you come across such as these in the Bible, instead of thinking, "I wouldn't have done that." I think you need to look deeper into the text to see what you can learn from that person and what God teaches through them.
First of all, it was reasonable for Peter to ask Jesus the first time why he was washing his feet, to which Jesus replied, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will after this."
But then Peter, out of his ignorance once again says, "You shall never wash my feet!" Using terms in Greek of the strongest negation.
At this point, you would expect anyone to get very impatient with the ignorance of Peter, but Jesus wanted to teach a very important spiritual truth. He replies, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with me."
Here, Jesus was revealing a spiritual truth about the cleansing of our souls from sin. If He does not wash us, we have no part with him.
I think from what Peter said next, he caught onto the fact that Jesus was talking in spiritual terms, but he didn't catch the whole idea. He wanted Jesus to cleanse all of him, and so he goes onto say, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!"
It amazes me how patient Jesus was with Peter still at this point. Jesus had some truths that He was going to express through Peter's ignorance.
"He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you."
Here Jesus was using the illustration of a man in this time period who gets his whole body clean in the morning, and throughout the day when he would go from house to house, he would have to dust off only his feet.
Once we have been totally cleansed by Christ, he has to daily dust off our feet. We don't need to be cleaned from head to toe again, because we only need to be washed through the blood of Christ once. Afterward, as we walk through this world and get our feet dirty, he only needs to dust off our feet.
The last part when he says, "You are clean, but not all of you." He was referring to Judas Iscariot. The disciple who was not cleansed by Christ.
Peter has been one of those characters in the Bible that I'm sure every believer has said they would never be like, but pay attention whenever there comes dialogue with Jesus and Peter, because Jesus has revealed some amazing truths through Peter's ignorance.
This passage really stuck out to me because of what boldness Peter showed (yet again) whenever Jesus went to wash his feet. Every time you read a passage where Peter says his ignorant things and makes his bold assertions, you just want to say, "Peter, shut up!"
But as with all situations that you come across such as these in the Bible, instead of thinking, "I wouldn't have done that." I think you need to look deeper into the text to see what you can learn from that person and what God teaches through them.
First of all, it was reasonable for Peter to ask Jesus the first time why he was washing his feet, to which Jesus replied, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will after this."
But then Peter, out of his ignorance once again says, "You shall never wash my feet!" Using terms in Greek of the strongest negation.
At this point, you would expect anyone to get very impatient with the ignorance of Peter, but Jesus wanted to teach a very important spiritual truth. He replies, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with me."
Here, Jesus was revealing a spiritual truth about the cleansing of our souls from sin. If He does not wash us, we have no part with him.
I think from what Peter said next, he caught onto the fact that Jesus was talking in spiritual terms, but he didn't catch the whole idea. He wanted Jesus to cleanse all of him, and so he goes onto say, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!"
It amazes me how patient Jesus was with Peter still at this point. Jesus had some truths that He was going to express through Peter's ignorance.
"He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you."
Here Jesus was using the illustration of a man in this time period who gets his whole body clean in the morning, and throughout the day when he would go from house to house, he would have to dust off only his feet.
Once we have been totally cleansed by Christ, he has to daily dust off our feet. We don't need to be cleaned from head to toe again, because we only need to be washed through the blood of Christ once. Afterward, as we walk through this world and get our feet dirty, he only needs to dust off our feet.
The last part when he says, "You are clean, but not all of you." He was referring to Judas Iscariot. The disciple who was not cleansed by Christ.
Peter has been one of those characters in the Bible that I'm sure every believer has said they would never be like, but pay attention whenever there comes dialogue with Jesus and Peter, because Jesus has revealed some amazing truths through Peter's ignorance.
6.9.11
The Draft Series: "The Spirit Sanctifies"
(So everyone, here I am revisiting this blog. I found that there were so many drafts I never published. Some one line, some more. They were little snipets of creativity that I just couldn't figure out where to take them, so here is my attempt to make something of them. Those snipets you will see as the lines that are italicized and quoted follow by an ellipsis.)
"The aching fingers on my hands cried for mercy
When I prodded at others souls"...
And each time I tried
The Spirit prodded at my soul
"Take the plank out of your own eye first
To see the plank in your brother's eye"
Again I'm convicted by You
Again You're shaping me
I'm becoming a new creation
The old is dying, falling away
You're bringing me into the light
After I've been drenched in darkness
Into Your embrace I come
And You shall never let me depart
"The aching fingers on my hands cried for mercy
When I prodded at others souls"...
And each time I tried
The Spirit prodded at my soul
"Take the plank out of your own eye first
To see the plank in your brother's eye"
Again I'm convicted by You
Again You're shaping me
I'm becoming a new creation
The old is dying, falling away
You're bringing me into the light
After I've been drenched in darkness
Into Your embrace I come
And You shall never let me depart
5.9.11
Thoughts...concealed temporarily
It's amazing going back to this blog and looking at the different things I've posted on it.
I am sure I disagree with myself now with some of the things I wrote on here. So much change has been coming to me in my life. Thankfully, I still appreciate a lot of my own writings, but it's interesting to see that the best things I wrote were whenever I felt closest to God.
Unfortunately, writing for me has been fading into something nearly non-existent in my life...but I do want to continue to write. Hopefully I will get back into it again.
I've written a poem here and there, but a couple of the times, it was just for the sake of writing, and not necessarily from inspiration.
I almost feel like I'm writing on some strangers blog
Never would I have imagined that at this age, I would have gone so many places and experienced so many things.
Ecuador was amazing, and really changed me. The friends I made there were so awesome...but I hate the feeling I have of growing apart from them, and each day getting more adjusted to going back to my life outside of the context of missions.
Life has changed though permanently for me so far. I thankfully have a general direction I'm headed to also, and that is save up money, try to get into Moody Bible Institute to study international missions, theology, hopefully Spanish and other things too. Afterward, hopefully get into Story Runners, and be a "Bible Servant." Which is going to different communities around the world, living among them, and preaching the gospel to them and telling them stories from the Bible.
I don't feel like I was a missionary this summer. People seem to think I gave up so much, but really I don't feel like I gave up as much as I gained. I also want to preach the gospel to those who haven't heard it, so that's what I'm aiming for.
It's been interesting revisiting this blog....who knows if I'll write on it anymore, and if so, where I would take it, I'm not so sure of.
Sorry for all the incoherent rambling of mine. This is how my mind has been in the works for quite a while now
With His love,
April
I am sure I disagree with myself now with some of the things I wrote on here. So much change has been coming to me in my life. Thankfully, I still appreciate a lot of my own writings, but it's interesting to see that the best things I wrote were whenever I felt closest to God.
Unfortunately, writing for me has been fading into something nearly non-existent in my life...but I do want to continue to write. Hopefully I will get back into it again.
I've written a poem here and there, but a couple of the times, it was just for the sake of writing, and not necessarily from inspiration.
I almost feel like I'm writing on some strangers blog
Never would I have imagined that at this age, I would have gone so many places and experienced so many things.
Ecuador was amazing, and really changed me. The friends I made there were so awesome...but I hate the feeling I have of growing apart from them, and each day getting more adjusted to going back to my life outside of the context of missions.
Life has changed though permanently for me so far. I thankfully have a general direction I'm headed to also, and that is save up money, try to get into Moody Bible Institute to study international missions, theology, hopefully Spanish and other things too. Afterward, hopefully get into Story Runners, and be a "Bible Servant." Which is going to different communities around the world, living among them, and preaching the gospel to them and telling them stories from the Bible.
I don't feel like I was a missionary this summer. People seem to think I gave up so much, but really I don't feel like I gave up as much as I gained. I also want to preach the gospel to those who haven't heard it, so that's what I'm aiming for.
It's been interesting revisiting this blog....who knows if I'll write on it anymore, and if so, where I would take it, I'm not so sure of.
Sorry for all the incoherent rambling of mine. This is how my mind has been in the works for quite a while now
With His love,
April
3.9.11
Mercy Wrought Upon Me
The love that I have sought, found me
From the rotten origins I've come, namely man
I indulged in the things of the world all my days
Yet He chose me, and brought me into His plan
Never in my days could I deserve credit
For the mercy He's wrought upon me
And never shall I be declared righteous
Unless through Christ, who imputed it to me
Though my works are as dirty rags
And will never amount
The Spirit works in me to bring glory
To the Father who alone is the living fount
So forever shall I praise Him
For my soul had nothing to give
Yet He saved me from condemnation
And brought me to Himself to live
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