I'm trying to discern why I feel this way
Why do I feel?

I'm being crushed under the weight of life
And life mocks my pain, while sending me more

I try to cry, but my tears won't come
What's holding me back is what I feel inside

Why do I strive to be so much?
And still I am nothing?

I can't be anything, if I keep saying, "I"
And that's where I am lost

I'm lost in, "I".
I try to resist others

I try to resist my discouragement
I supress my feelings so I won't be hurt in the end

But in the end I end up only hurting myself more
Notice how I keep referring to myself

My heart is dissolving, but yet still throbbing
Like my life, vanishing, yet coming fully alive

I can't comprehend beauty, and it makes me sick
I can't digest significance

My stomach is too weak
And the taste of it is too broad

Every day I need to kill myself
But every day I struggle with nailing myself to a cross

Where God takes me
For me to hang there

And why?
For. The. Sake. Of. Love. And. Not. Me.