Just some venting of unquenchable feelings....significant?

3...2...1... it's two zero zero nine
I know not what lies ahead
I can't know the time
Or this feeling I tread

But I feel this year
Will have a lot to do with love
This love, I cannot fear
For there's authority from above

My heart wants to grasp
That I will finally understand the feeling
Something that will make me gasp
Understanding the significance of kneeling

I want to know of the mutual loving connections
I want to explore it's pleasure
Though I pretend to gag at it's reflection
There's nothing more I'd rather treasure

I feel it's so far away
And yet right around the corner
I don't want my hopes about what may
But I can't settle with the former

What may happen will indeed
But still I pursue that hope
That unquenchable want to be freed
From what binds me, so here I grope

Feeling for what my heart desires
It's right in front of me
It's what my heart presently admires
Of what I can see, could truly be

I want something not of sap
Not made of cheap feelings merely
But rather to fill that gap
With something to cherish with God, dearly

Are we ever ready for that truth to be revealed?
I'm convinced were truly not worthy at all
Of what is desired for us in God's heart, it's sealed
At least from what we make of it, (He wants us to want to break down that wall)

[The wall of deceiphering what is love, what is real, what is true, what is the true deal]

That's just it, I can't deny
For I don't know what is the real truth
We can't ever possibly comply


...I find myself at a loss for a rhyme to one of the most significant words....is there any significance in any of our prespectives? We throw significant words around so often...they've lost their meanings. I can say, "Awesome" and no one will blink. I can say love....then about earthly relationships, they will think.
I can talk about God all I want, but what will come to mind is something abstract to our minds that we simply are not capable to comprehend.
We find ourselves wandering about, looking to feel significance...and what we settle with is temporary feelings.
If this wins me any credit of feeling significant...it won't last. Therefore, I do not write what will make me feel temporarily significant. It's a waste of time, if what I can feel is eternal...from God. Does that mean this has no significance in writing it?

That depends on one's own prespective....depending on who it is, this could be just a bunch of letters typed out from some teenager on a quest for significance...when I will never find it here. That is..especially if I start looking here...or even looking here at all.

Why do I write on here? Mainly for myself, to fulfill my pleasure of writing...my secret is out...but truly, I do feel I need to do this for God's glory. So let that be. Let Him take my pride, and relieve me of it, so that I will be freed from it.

If my citizenship is in heaven, why do I ever feel like all that matters in my life is what benefits myself here?

So God, truly, this is for You. If not ever before, this is sincere.

May I have not one resolution, but many, many of them. They are for you to plan out, not me this time... because I surrender this year to you.

Receive me...not the extra pieces that need to be stripped from me, but the true...me.