A simple gesture of unappreciation goes a long way

A kid didn't have money for lunch
And no one would pay for him
So he sat there, holding his stomach through the rest of the lunch hour
I laughed and chewed my food mockingly at him, while he stared at me.

A girl that hides behind her hair doesn't talk to anyone
Me and my friends make fun of her
She just runs away without a sound
Too bad she doesn't have the friends I do

A mentally challenged boy sits in class next to me
His face is horribly deformed
He creeped me out
So I screamed and moved away

A few years later....

What happened to me?
I gained so much weight
I've put on fifty pounds
And my stomach continues to bulge

My group of friends are much more skinny than I am
They are making fun of me constantly
I just try to play along and joke about it
Because they are the only friends I have

My face is no longer recongnizable
It's protruding, and disgusting
Perhaps too many meals in a day?
Because now no one can stand the sight of it

A few days later....

I don't care about this problem anymore
I'll just keep over-indulging and eat away
I need to fill that emptiness
The food helps to fill it, but it won't go away

The group of friends I once had, hurt me
They posted pictures of me all around the college
Pictures with my head placed on a skinny girl
So during the lunch hour I poisioned their food

I put on make up to cover every inch of my face
I don't look like the same person
But I haven't changed
The ugly face is still there

The obituary:

She was once the skinniest girl in her time
Life did not bring her what she wanted, so she resulted to food
She over indulged over the years
It became her friend, and Jesus did not.

Her friends were once trust-worthy, at least in her eyes
They turned their backs on her
She reacted by killing them with a lethal poison
They were never her friends, and neither was Jesus

She was a beautiful girl
Even if she didn't say she was
She died on the surgical table while trying to get everything she didn't like removed
She didn't accept herself for who she was, because she didn't know the Someone that would.

Don't forget to stretch before running

When you have made yourself comfortable with this world
You will not be effective for service

But if you set your sights on eternity
You can change the world

People who are faithful don't just walk with Jesus
We RUN.

Can you keep up??

Clusterphobia

My mind is skipping around aimless thoughts
I'm getting out of focus
Too often I rely on materials
To keep me in line
When every day I pray for you to keep me here
Because I often want to stray
To somewhere I don't belong
When I know this is your weakness you've given to me
So I can grow to be strong
If this is what you want, then so be it
Although I keep looking into other lands
Help me to desire what I have here
Hundreds of acres to run free in
But I'm being deceived to think it's a square foot
Open my mind
So I will not be deceived concerning where I stand.

Indulge

Pop the pills
Take a drag off nicotine
Drink to the last drop of alcohol
Crave the adrenaline rush in a roll of paper
Sexual immorality is always an option
Close in on the hope contained in damsels who are as desperate as you
Call them your other half to feel like you've found what will complete you
When in the end, you find no other human being alone can be trusted to fill what your heart and life needs.
Starve yourself to gain the likes of others
Powder your face, and mask what you don't like
Eat through the pain to dull it
Work out your kinks in a gym
Take advantage of people to make money to support your addiction

Then when you have had enough

Get detoxed
Use patches, gum, candy, anything that will take your mind off your addiction
Get yourself on a diet
Go to therapy sessions
Go to a rehabilitation center

Makes a lot of sense to indulge in those things that make you want to stop afterwards.
Somehow we all know we need to quit someday
Yet somehow we think it will keep us alive
When in reality it leads us to our graves

For some reason we always want to be forgiven for those mistakes

I'm trying to discern why I feel this way
Why do I feel?

I'm being crushed under the weight of life
And life mocks my pain, while sending me more

I try to cry, but my tears won't come
What's holding me back is what I feel inside

Why do I strive to be so much?
And still I am nothing?

I can't be anything, if I keep saying, "I"
And that's where I am lost

I'm lost in, "I".
I try to resist others

I try to resist my discouragement
I supress my feelings so I won't be hurt in the end

But in the end I end up only hurting myself more
Notice how I keep referring to myself

My heart is dissolving, but yet still throbbing
Like my life, vanishing, yet coming fully alive

I can't comprehend beauty, and it makes me sick
I can't digest significance

My stomach is too weak
And the taste of it is too broad

Every day I need to kill myself
But every day I struggle with nailing myself to a cross

Where God takes me
For me to hang there

And why?
For. The. Sake. Of. Love. And. Not. Me.

Death's Kiss

Negative thoughts run through my mind
Negative, that's all life is
I've been searching for something I can't find
Though, I did make it His

Take me home, I'm tired of everything
Take me now, I'm sick
Before I reconsider anything
Hurry while the clock pauses it's tick

The next day....

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"
I know that's what I heard
It inflicted a sigh
I heard it, word for word

"As much as I wanted to yesterday
Today is a new day, and I need to live
My family needs me, I won't let them go astray
I can't let them live with guilt--that I won't give

I need to stay here
Though I want to go home
My time is not near
Till then, here I will roam"

Ten minutes later...driving in a car down the street in the passenger seat...a close call....a near miss. I'm a witness. It was indeed a miracle they survived. She was glad she chose to live.