I Once Was a Star

I breathed in the distilled nocturnal air, softly but ceaslessly. Can the night get louder? Can I breathe it in deeper?
I faced my palms upward to my face. The palms that perspired when this feeling came.
The nostalgia, the melancholy, and at the same time, prospective and felicity.
I searched the endless night sky, dotted with somber stars.
Why does the sky hide them in the day?
Shouldn't the sun reveal more of the universe?
Instead the blue hue hides the beauty. But the night doesn't give it justice either. It presents mere freckles to our preception.
How much farther can we be?
The distant stars are seen to us as sparks, and we're just another one of those sparks.
The planets and the stars must look at us and call us freckles.

Maybe some stars shine brighter than others because they want to be wished on.
Maybe the ones that shoot are envied.
Maybe they want to be named.
Maybe they want to be planets.
Maybe they want to be considered apart of a constellation.
Maybe they join alliances to make them.

Do they desire to look down at the northern hemisphere or at the southern one?
Do they search for us or do we search for them?
Do they twinkle in our eyes, or do we twinkle in theirs?
Do they dance above us when we dance under them?

These questions made my heart itch, so I decided I'd be among them tonight.
I stared hard into the universe, and pictured me among them.
And so I was. I was a star. I looked down at the swirling clouds in the atmosphere, and I saw the blue hue of the ocean, and I saw the greens of the land.
I looked to the other stars, and they smiled brightly and welcomed me with a faint twinkling, and I twinkled back, matching their tone, to thank them.
They focused their glow back to the earth, in a subtle wish.
I heard one make a low pitched, "ding" which came off to me as a sigh. It spoke in a language made up of swishing, and clocking, and a slight ting at the same time. I recongnized it immediately what it said.
"You were so lucky to be down there. If I lived down there, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Yes we might have a beautiful view up here, and we might shine beauty on the earth, but we merely look down on the earth and wish we were there, while people wish on us. We could grant their wishes in a heartbeat, but then we wish we had a heartbeat. A constant, flowing rhythm of life.
"That's why were reluctant to grant wishes. For once, we'd like our wishes to come true. Scarcely does a humble wisher come to us. Most are greedy with their wishes. All they seem to desire is some wacko kid to hinder the gentle rhythm of their beating hearts. Is everyone down there really that ignorant? Or do we miss the wishes of the ones with sense?"
During this speech, the rest of the stars thonked, and clicked, and botted in grief.
It was all true, I realized. But these stars had an important role in making dreams come true.
I knew I had to lift their spirits, so I made my own noises of encouragement, "But who are you to complain? Yes, you might not be down there, but trust me, you aren't missing much. You think your spirits are low up here? Every heart down there is breaking. No tears are evaporating, and each day they come more consistently. We take for granted the beauty around us, and we are and have been ruining it no doubt. If you look down on them for ruining that beauty, are you going to sit up here and do the same? You are apart of what makes up the beauty, and how amazingly beautiful you all can be here if you jumped out of your somber state. You guys have an important role in your beauty. Maybe if you shined bright enough, and danced enough, it would help them down there to realize how there is still hope. You guys can easily give that hope by simply letting go of your envy for us. You can save the beauty."
There was a moment of still silence, then the stars brightened and there was a chorus of noises and movements from them. They tanged, they hummed, and they clopped. It was how they made applause, apparently. The star that had spoke to me said,
"You speak truth. We feel much admired and important. We are ourselves. We are our purpose. You go be yourself again, and you be your purpose. We will shine bright at you, and will grant you any wishes you please, and you shall restore the beauty neglected and thrashed upon down there. Acknowledge our power, thoughtful one."
"But I must know your name to call on you in need."
"Yes, indeed. You may call me Polaris. I will be your faithful wish-bearer."
With that I gave a last twinkling smile, and I focused onto the green terrain that I came from. I imagined myself in the same spot I looked up from, and I was there again.
I looked up to the sky again, and it shone brighter, and was more lively. It was a dark blue canvas painted with billions of glittering diamonds. Polaris was the brightest, and he winked at me, and I winked back.
I could still faintly hear their voices echo in my ears.
"Now would you look at them now. So potent. So inspirational. They will make good use of their wishes, and I will grant them with compassion."

I walked silently through a fog, and the fog consumed me...the fog was me. I tried looking at my hand a foot from my face and could only make out broad edges. This is the definition of bliss, and this is my reality. What was life was a cheap counterfeit, and those words have been defied. I had a weight on my heart that felt more prevalent than the weight placed on the soles of my shoes, and my balance was shifted, giving me a light-weight feeling in my legs. I couldn't feel them there. They were merely pillars attempting to support my weight. I felt my knees weaken, and they had an urge to meet the ground. When I tried looking at the ground, I found it was invisible. There was no telling what could be down there. Only the bliss was there. I didn't know if I could trust that the ground was there. What if I attempted to fall to my knees, and miscalculated my drop, and land on my hands instead? I can't even tell if my feet are on the ground, what if I'm lifted in the air? What if I'm sinking?My heart sobbed, and my shoulders descended. My eyes became moist. I couldn't tell if it was from the fog, or from my emotions. I looked upwards, and the moisture dried. Then I realized that's the only direction I could see, is above. And why should my tears disappear if I look upwards, and not any other direction?My knees gave out, and I plummeted to the ground, still looking skyward. I closed my eyes, and the moisture came again, so I opened them, and they again vanished.There's something with the sky. Why is it so foggy down here, but so clear up there? I want to go up there! So I called up to the heavens, and they told me I could join them if I never subjected my feet to my weight on the ground again, and I told them I'd fly the rest of my life, and there was no point to remaining down there in the bliss. I felt my eyes somberly release it's moisture. "Why did I remain in this bliss? I'm so ashamed." I thought
"Shame shall be wiped from you. You have sought clarity, and you have found it. I have taken the bliss upon myself, and I've made a way out."
"But why do I thirst so?"
"Thirst comes naturally once you've realized that the bliss couldn't quench it. You were meant to be thirsty. Drink up my skies."
I didn't need to ask their name. I knew well who they were. They were who I've been searching for this whole time, when I knew the bliss couldn't be all there was. They pulled and pulled at my heart, constantly telling me to look away from this bliss. All along I was so foolish, and didn't think to look upwards, until now.
"Now fly! Fly to me!"
I stood from my knees, and my heart was now light. I looked to my chest and saw a faint yellow glow, and knew this is what life was supposed to be.I raised my arms, and the sky embraced me. I danced in the sky all the rest that day, without ground under my feet, and able to see everything. I was rescued! I felt I was sought for and loved all this time! My yellow glow brightened when I experienced thunderstorms and underwent turbulance, so I delighted in the storms. When my glow was faint, I hated these storms, but it's been getting brighter each time. I delight in the smell of moisture in the air, and I thank the storms for bringing me my glow. I also get the job of wiping away fog. It can get hard to get that close to the ground to do it, but it's why I remain in these skies. I love those who are lost in the fog, because I was shown that love when I was in the fog. That is my job until I exceed the atmosphere one day. Until then I will glow here, and my glow will keep getting brighter. And no matter what, I will always look upwards.