I felt something in my heart today, that I feel very often. That is discouragement. I feel I'm doing all I can to serve God, but I'm not going anywhere. I have seeked out every opportunity to serve God that I can find, but I feel like I'm running on ice, not getting anywhere, and what I fear is that I will eventually give up and fall through the ice. But this feeling in a way benefits me, because I know that I can't be lazy with any opportunity, and if I am, then I will find myself running on ice. I think the reason God hasn't showed me how he wants me to change the world, is because he's still preparing my heart. This discouragement I feel is apart of it, because when you serve God, it can be hard not to get discouraged, but if you do, that's when you step onto the icy terrain. I can see that God is still preparing my heart to dedicate my life to what I will be doing to serve Him later.
Discouragement is one of those things where you have a split decision. Either you will decide you're worthless in what you are doing, or you will keep on serving God. If you haven't received that call from God with where He wants you serving, then He is still preparing your heart, and every soul counts. If you keep on serving God, and get past the slippery terrain illusion that discouragement gives you, God will change your heart.
That is my trouble, discouragement. But what we need to know is that when you serve God, you're not running on ice, but you're running to the other side of the earth and back, constantly. I've found that to be true, because my heart is way more given to serving others than it has been in the past, because I kept on serving God, and if you have the heart of a servant, with God, you can change the world.
I pray that anyone who reads this, that God will change their hearts, and that the hearts of those servants will be more and more dedicated to serving God and changing the world each time they do an act serving God. And not putting on a show for others, but working behind the scenes for God, not expecting any pats on the back from others.
Don't ever get discouraged and feel like you've stepped on icy terrain, because when you serve God, you're doing laps around the world.
30.11.08
24.11.08
Humility is evidence of thankfulness
Last year, (Though it seems it's been way longer than that) I went on a mission trip to Chile. It was amazing beyond my expectations. There's many different reasons why I would say that, but this gets close to summing it up.
We had two groups on our mission trip, there was group A, (which was the group I was in) and there was group B. Our groups would switch off positions of work. Group A would go from the church we were staying in, then start out the day going to the camp we were to work at. At the camp, there was a house, a half-bulit water tower, an empty space of land where we were to build dorms for college kids. The camp had a section that went down hill, and down the hill was a soccer field, piles of rocks, and there was a river where they did baptisms. Group B would start off going to a school and work with kids in an english class. Each of our groups would work in those two places for a certain amount of time, then we would switch off locations.
We did that for about four days straight. It took a lot out of our group. The whole trip was ten days long, and the whole time I only got three showers, and out of those, only one was a hot one. It was winter down there when we went, and one of the times I took a shower, I was on the verge of hypothermia.
At night we slept in the church, "Inglesia del pacto". There was no heat. All we had were our sweaters and sleeping bags. At night it was probably around 10 degrees farenheit. It was very hard for me to get to sleep, especially the first night. The time we were to wake up changed each time, but on average it was around seven.
The lunches we had were always great to me, it was like american food each time, but dinner was what I feared most. Each time it was a different Chilean food, and most of it was pretty good, but each and every time I ate it, I got sick.
Each morning we had to get up and go to work in the bitter cold weather. It was very wet most of the time down there too. It rained pretty often, so we had to wear boots because of all the mud.
So, the whole trip I was very tired, very sick, and very cold. But I can hardly remember what that all felt like, because there was something going on inside of me that was of much more importance.
At the end of each night, we would have a group meeting and sit in a circle and share the highlights of the day, and our youth leader would speak to us about what we need to work on and other sorts of things. Those nights were always very effective, and always humbling. A couple of the nights, quite a few people broke down in tears, including me.
We got to know a few people there very well, and most, if not all of us in our group made new friends. Quite a few of the people there could speak english, and most of the people who went to the church were around our age. I became very great friends with a few people, including someone who hardly spoke any english. We found out that even though we come from totally different backgrounds, we had a lot in common, and we could especially get along because we are one in Christ.
One of the things that really got to me was the last day we worked. We had accomplished so much, and the people from the church were very thankful. They went around to each and every one of us and washed our feet. It was such an astonishing display of humility. I know I probably wouldn't have done that. We could see how thankful they were that we worked with them with their display of humility.
Everything that happened really humbled me, and if all that I went through on that trip wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be as thankful for everything as I am today. I could go on for years naming off all the things I'm thankful for.
That was the most effective trip I've went on, and I'm thankful that God put me there. That's the most I've endured in a time frame of ten days, but it got me to the point I'm at with God, and I'm so thankful to have been put in those positions. I throughly enjoyed that trip, and I still feel that bond with the friends I made there, though it's been over a year.
If I had to pick one thing to express my thankfulness for, I would say I'm thankful for where God has put me in my life to serve Him. I would rather be serving Him than doing anything else.
We had two groups on our mission trip, there was group A, (which was the group I was in) and there was group B. Our groups would switch off positions of work. Group A would go from the church we were staying in, then start out the day going to the camp we were to work at. At the camp, there was a house, a half-bulit water tower, an empty space of land where we were to build dorms for college kids. The camp had a section that went down hill, and down the hill was a soccer field, piles of rocks, and there was a river where they did baptisms. Group B would start off going to a school and work with kids in an english class. Each of our groups would work in those two places for a certain amount of time, then we would switch off locations.
We did that for about four days straight. It took a lot out of our group. The whole trip was ten days long, and the whole time I only got three showers, and out of those, only one was a hot one. It was winter down there when we went, and one of the times I took a shower, I was on the verge of hypothermia.
At night we slept in the church, "Inglesia del pacto". There was no heat. All we had were our sweaters and sleeping bags. At night it was probably around 10 degrees farenheit. It was very hard for me to get to sleep, especially the first night. The time we were to wake up changed each time, but on average it was around seven.
The lunches we had were always great to me, it was like american food each time, but dinner was what I feared most. Each time it was a different Chilean food, and most of it was pretty good, but each and every time I ate it, I got sick.
Each morning we had to get up and go to work in the bitter cold weather. It was very wet most of the time down there too. It rained pretty often, so we had to wear boots because of all the mud.
So, the whole trip I was very tired, very sick, and very cold. But I can hardly remember what that all felt like, because there was something going on inside of me that was of much more importance.
At the end of each night, we would have a group meeting and sit in a circle and share the highlights of the day, and our youth leader would speak to us about what we need to work on and other sorts of things. Those nights were always very effective, and always humbling. A couple of the nights, quite a few people broke down in tears, including me.
We got to know a few people there very well, and most, if not all of us in our group made new friends. Quite a few of the people there could speak english, and most of the people who went to the church were around our age. I became very great friends with a few people, including someone who hardly spoke any english. We found out that even though we come from totally different backgrounds, we had a lot in common, and we could especially get along because we are one in Christ.
One of the things that really got to me was the last day we worked. We had accomplished so much, and the people from the church were very thankful. They went around to each and every one of us and washed our feet. It was such an astonishing display of humility. I know I probably wouldn't have done that. We could see how thankful they were that we worked with them with their display of humility.
Everything that happened really humbled me, and if all that I went through on that trip wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be as thankful for everything as I am today. I could go on for years naming off all the things I'm thankful for.
That was the most effective trip I've went on, and I'm thankful that God put me there. That's the most I've endured in a time frame of ten days, but it got me to the point I'm at with God, and I'm so thankful to have been put in those positions. I throughly enjoyed that trip, and I still feel that bond with the friends I made there, though it's been over a year.
If I had to pick one thing to express my thankfulness for, I would say I'm thankful for where God has put me in my life to serve Him. I would rather be serving Him than doing anything else.
20.11.08
My Supernatural Day
Today, I woke up, not wanting to arise. Why? Because I did know, and yet did not know, what the day had held. (Normally this gives me a positive impulse, but this morning it did not, for today was not a common day.)
How, you ask, did I know what it held?
I did know the routines it held, for I, am one who creates routines that I naturally adapt to.
But this was no ordinary day, I found, for the things that were common to me, I did not desire. The things that were uncommon, and that were out of the ordinary to me, I now had a new desire for.
Instead of waking up feeling I had things that needed to be done, I had a feeling that I could do with this day whatever I desired to make it.
Instead of my usual glass of milk, I enjoyed a cup of coffee, over loaded with sugar and creamer. Normally I wouldn't have done this, but this was not a normal day.
Instead of doing my school work just to get through it, I actually desired to learn from it...for what I desired today, were the things that are not common.
Instead of listening to my usual modern music, I listened to classical, for I desired to, for the things I desired today, were the things I wouldn't have desired any other day, and this was not a common day.
Instead of reading of Harry Potter, I read of Don Quixote. But I desired to, for it was uncommon, and today I desired what was uncommon to me.
Instead of keeping warm inside, I went and sat out in the cold weather. Normally, I wouldn't desire to do this, but I desired this today, for it was an uncommon thing.
(These are very few of the out-of-the-ordinary things I've done today, but just enough to make my point)
It made me realize, that the things I do out of mere routine, are really not all that great, and that I didn't even have much of a desire towards. It also made me realize, that my desires could easily be changed. By what force, you may ask, well that is for you to decide. But I know that force, and It can and will change my desires, so that my common every day things do not become mere routines. I loathe routine, for the definition that comes to my head when I think of routine, I think of it as something you don't necessarily want to do, or desire to do, but something you feel you should do, or something you probably should do. I think there's a whole new word to replace routnine when you actually desire to do something. When you desire to do something, in my opinion, it is not a chore or a routine. Neither of these, but consider the word, "deed." I would say the word deed means to do something productive, merely out of one's own will, and not forced upon them, and even if it is forced upon them, still having the desire to do it. I think if we changed all our routines and chores into deeds, it could bring about a whole meaning to our daily "routines". [deeds]
What would give me that impulse? I don't desire to tell my resources, that is for you yourself to determine, but I stand by my word when I say, that today was no natural occurence; it was supernatural.
I challenge you to live a supernatural day.
How, you ask, did I know what it held?
I did know the routines it held, for I, am one who creates routines that I naturally adapt to.
But this was no ordinary day, I found, for the things that were common to me, I did not desire. The things that were uncommon, and that were out of the ordinary to me, I now had a new desire for.
Instead of waking up feeling I had things that needed to be done, I had a feeling that I could do with this day whatever I desired to make it.
Instead of my usual glass of milk, I enjoyed a cup of coffee, over loaded with sugar and creamer. Normally I wouldn't have done this, but this was not a normal day.
Instead of doing my school work just to get through it, I actually desired to learn from it...for what I desired today, were the things that are not common.
Instead of listening to my usual modern music, I listened to classical, for I desired to, for the things I desired today, were the things I wouldn't have desired any other day, and this was not a common day.
Instead of reading of Harry Potter, I read of Don Quixote. But I desired to, for it was uncommon, and today I desired what was uncommon to me.
Instead of keeping warm inside, I went and sat out in the cold weather. Normally, I wouldn't desire to do this, but I desired this today, for it was an uncommon thing.
(These are very few of the out-of-the-ordinary things I've done today, but just enough to make my point)
It made me realize, that the things I do out of mere routine, are really not all that great, and that I didn't even have much of a desire towards. It also made me realize, that my desires could easily be changed. By what force, you may ask, well that is for you to decide. But I know that force, and It can and will change my desires, so that my common every day things do not become mere routines. I loathe routine, for the definition that comes to my head when I think of routine, I think of it as something you don't necessarily want to do, or desire to do, but something you feel you should do, or something you probably should do. I think there's a whole new word to replace routnine when you actually desire to do something. When you desire to do something, in my opinion, it is not a chore or a routine. Neither of these, but consider the word, "deed." I would say the word deed means to do something productive, merely out of one's own will, and not forced upon them, and even if it is forced upon them, still having the desire to do it. I think if we changed all our routines and chores into deeds, it could bring about a whole meaning to our daily "routines". [deeds]
What would give me that impulse? I don't desire to tell my resources, that is for you yourself to determine, but I stand by my word when I say, that today was no natural occurence; it was supernatural.
I challenge you to live a supernatural day.
17.11.08
Lets Play a Melody
Notes to make a melody
Thousands of chords
Opens a new world to see
A beautiful tune
Coming from laminated boards
A world where the song
Bears the essence of an emotion
It can be as long
Just the length you wish
To carry a strumming motion
Nineteen frets beckoning
With their hunger to show
The tune you're reckoning
That they deserve to play
A tune they beg you to know
With a pick
Fingers
What ever you'd like
Do a trick
Add a singer
Throw in a mic
Just play a tune
One set on your heart
About beauty of the moon
The days you want to live
Or from whom you won't part
Stretch your fingers
Play the blues
Whatever song lingers
Avoid ones with a chance
To make one snooze
Aim for that song
One with passion
You can't go wrong
When the one you play for
Is the one you fashion
15.11.08
My Hopeful Future (Revised for my true Love)
[Love and God are interchangable words]
The moment I felt you took my breath away
I was thankful for my life I'm living today
Just to feel your love, I adore
My sadness absent-- there no more
You turned my tears to abundant glitter
The tears I shed were bitter
I know I don't deserve you
You sent Him to renew
Oh renew me, in all my life
Get me to rid of my strife
Oh lead me to felicity
Keep me away from complicity
Though I'm still young
And my life's rhythm is to be sung
Through all that happens, there will be love
Oh dear love, guide me from above
You know what my future holds
Let your will be
For I know not what lies ahead
But I will know what you have said
This night I'll lay down my head
Put to rest these thoughts I tread
But these feelings will never fade
For I will live the life, for me you have made
The moment I felt you took my breath away
I was thankful for my life I'm living today
Just to feel your love, I adore
My sadness absent-- there no more
You turned my tears to abundant glitter
The tears I shed were bitter
I know I don't deserve you
You sent Him to renew
Oh renew me, in all my life
Get me to rid of my strife
Oh lead me to felicity
Keep me away from complicity
Though I'm still young
And my life's rhythm is to be sung
Through all that happens, there will be love
Oh dear love, guide me from above
You know what my future holds
Let your will be
For I know not what lies ahead
But I will know what you have said
This night I'll lay down my head
Put to rest these thoughts I tread
But these feelings will never fade
For I will live the life, for me you have made
Witherbury
One dreary winter night, the Merton family spent the evening at the Furgeson's manor. They were having a Christmas party a week before the occasion. Everyone danced and sang to traditional Christmas carols, ate pumpkin pie, and entertained each other. Everyone was having a great time, but Percy Merton, a boy of thirteen and short stature, was not having fun. He was only anxious to get back home and retire, for he did not like any of the guests attending. Such as the girl down the street, Harriet. Small and stout, with an incredibly annoying voice, always whining. And that trouble maker boy Gill, always looking to make her upset, which makes her even more annoying. He could barely take it anymore, so Percy went to explore the house for a quiet place away from the jibber-jabber. He left the big living room with the piano that people gathered round and sang carols, and made for the room across the way. He tried the door and found it locked, so searched for another door. Over by a book case, next to a fire place, was a tiny door. He checked to see if anyone were looking. Clear. He paced across the room to the door, tried the knob, and opened it. Inside it was dimly lit with orange candle light and the light from the room he just left. He closed the door. The candle was the only light illuminating the room. He checked along the wall for a switch, felt a small lump, and pushed it upwards. The light illuminated the room from above, and he found that he was in a tiny study. "This very might well be the place I shall spend the rest of the night." He looked around at all the facinating artifacts. Book cases all along the walls with titles he hadn't heard of, and a desk in the middle of the room where the candle sat with a big red, overstuffed chair pushed up to it. He made way for the candle, and blew it out. Percy walked to a book case. He looked at books with titles like, "Taxonomy Vol. 1" and "How to locate Polaris".
"How dreary" he thought to himself. He was nearly through with looking through the books on that particular shelf, when he found a large book that said in bold letters, "Whitherbury."
He wondered aloud, "Whitherbury? How curious." He started to pull out the heavy book, but it wouldn't budge. He stretched his arms, grabbed ahold of the book with a tight grip, and pulled with all his might. He managed to get it to budge an inch, but that's as far as it went. The ground started vibrating, and he looked down at his feet and noticed the vibrations growing gradually. He grabbled ahold of the book case. The room seemed to be tilting downwards from where he was standing. The whole room was shaking with enough force to break anything in that room, but nothing did. It was as if everything were glued to it's place. The room kept tilting, and Percy knew in a few seconds, he'd have to sit on the bookcase, for the room will have tilted so that the bookcase was the floor beneath him. Now everything that was on the floor was now on the wall, and the room continued to spin. Percy ran across the books to what was now the center of the room, and stood by a portrait of some strange man. the room kept turning and was soon sloping downwards towards the white ceiling. Percy sat down on the wall, or the floor, and let himself slide down to the ceiling. He laughed out loud with joy, for he had never thought his horrible evening would turn out to be such fun. His feet hit the ceiling, and what was the floor was now turning into the wall, and what was supposed to be the floor was now the celing. everything was still in it's original place. Percy stayed away from where the desk was hanging on the ceiling, in fear that any minute it would fall on top of him. The room stopped vibrating, and Percy jumped with joy in his place, but stopped as soon as he felt the room yet again vibrating. He looked to where an empty space on the wall was next to a book case, and saw a huge piece protruding out of the wall, door shaped. It came out and slid to the right and revealed something beyond it that wasn't there before. Percy stared in amazement.
"How dreary" he thought to himself. He was nearly through with looking through the books on that particular shelf, when he found a large book that said in bold letters, "Whitherbury."
He wondered aloud, "Whitherbury? How curious." He started to pull out the heavy book, but it wouldn't budge. He stretched his arms, grabbed ahold of the book with a tight grip, and pulled with all his might. He managed to get it to budge an inch, but that's as far as it went. The ground started vibrating, and he looked down at his feet and noticed the vibrations growing gradually. He grabbled ahold of the book case. The room seemed to be tilting downwards from where he was standing. The whole room was shaking with enough force to break anything in that room, but nothing did. It was as if everything were glued to it's place. The room kept tilting, and Percy knew in a few seconds, he'd have to sit on the bookcase, for the room will have tilted so that the bookcase was the floor beneath him. Now everything that was on the floor was now on the wall, and the room continued to spin. Percy ran across the books to what was now the center of the room, and stood by a portrait of some strange man. the room kept turning and was soon sloping downwards towards the white ceiling. Percy sat down on the wall, or the floor, and let himself slide down to the ceiling. He laughed out loud with joy, for he had never thought his horrible evening would turn out to be such fun. His feet hit the ceiling, and what was the floor was now turning into the wall, and what was supposed to be the floor was now the celing. everything was still in it's original place. Percy stayed away from where the desk was hanging on the ceiling, in fear that any minute it would fall on top of him. The room stopped vibrating, and Percy jumped with joy in his place, but stopped as soon as he felt the room yet again vibrating. He looked to where an empty space on the wall was next to a book case, and saw a huge piece protruding out of the wall, door shaped. It came out and slid to the right and revealed something beyond it that wasn't there before. Percy stared in amazement.
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